Let Me Save Your Soul
by TheSlytherinFromDistrictFour
Summary: Draco Malfoy was cold, arrogant and rude. He pretended easily like he wasn't being torn apart by guilt, like it wasn't eating away at him. He barely slept anymore, but what did that matter? He thought no one noticed. He thought she was too concealed by animosity towards him to notice something was really, very wrong, and there was nothing he could do about it. {T for language.}
1. Chapter 1

_(__Listen __to__: __Trying__; __by __Lifehouse__)_

It was close to three in the morning, but Draco Malfoy still wandered the empty halls.

He couldn't sleep.

His nightmares had gotten more vivid and realistic as the time had drawn closer to the war. The war that no one knew was happening. No one but him. He gave a little sigh, pulling down his left sleeve as a nervous habit, even though no one was there to see his mark.

He paced the dark corriders, deep in his own thoughts. The clacking of footsteps could be heard, and he panicked.

They were too light of footsteps to be his godfather's- Snape's- whom he could get out of trouble with easily.

"Shit." He cursed under his breath, pulling up the hood on his robes. Maybe, at nearly six foot, he'd be tall enough to pass for a teacher now?

"Malfoy?" The familiar know-it-all's voice came out soft to avoid being heard, but the hostality was clear in it.

"What are you doing in the halls at this time of night?"

She sounded just like a professor nagging at him.

"I could ask you the same question, Granger." He turned to look at her, pulling down his hood.

"I asked you first."

He scoffed at her. "Well, it's none of your business."

"Fine."

Draco began to walk again, losing himself to his thoughts once again.

Moments later, she began to follow him, not that he noticed.

He leaned his back against the cool wall, sitting down with his back pressed to it.

She somehow could tell that there was something wrong, though her animosity for him masked her concern.

He didn't notice her leave, only looked down at the watch on his right wrist.

Seeing the time was close to sunrise, he stood and pulled his hood over his head.

Stepping silently down the hall, and then down the staircase to the Slytherin dormitory, he whispered the password to the painting.

It opened slowly and he stepped inside, hoping no one else was awake.

No one was.

He continued on to the boys dormitory, his footsteps very near silent.

The people hear practically worshipped him, anyway. They wouldn't care if he woke them up.

He sat on his own bed, glancing over at Goyle, whose snores would've prevented sleep anyway. He'd always been a light sleeper. You had to be, if you were one of His followers.

The time seemed to pass by slowly, minutes changing into hours.

The sun slowly rose, and he stood, slicking his blonde hair back and leaving for breakfast in the great hall.

Goyle and Crabbe would probably sleep in anyway, there was no use in being late with them.

Back in the Griffindor common room, Hermione met up with Ron and Harry.

She laughed along with them at Dean's struggles with his alarm clock, at the bangs and the shouted swear words, but her mind lingered on last night.

She snickered as Dean came down the stairs, hair and robes a mess, muttering, "Fucking alarm," but her thoughts stayed on Draco Malfoy and the hollow look in his ice blue eyes.

"Bloody hell, Dean. You look awful." Ron snorted, earning him a whack from Dean himself.

Everyone seemed to be in quite a laughable mood, but Hermione was the only one to fake it. She tried to block her own thoughts out, shaking her head at her own silliness.

The trio headed down to the great hall, plopping themselves down at the Griffindor table.

"It's kinda boring here, without the twins isn't it Harry? I mean, Filch still kept the lake and all, but- hey! Maybe we should all take a trip to Zonkos later, and..."

Hermione instinctivly blocked out Ron's rambling, which quit when the headmaster began to speak.

She looked through the crowd of people, telling herself she was looking for Luna or Cho, but in the back of her mind knew she was looking for _him_.

When her eyes looked with his, she thought, _bloody __hell__, __he __looks__...__tired__. _

She then mentally winced. She'd been spending too much time with Ron, now she was starting to speak like him.

Draco Malfoy's appearance was only slightly different than normal, and she was sure she was the only one to notice it.

The dark circles under his eyes had grown.

Under his robes, he wore a black turtleneck, though it was only the beginning of September, and still relatively warm outside.

Is that the only clothing he owns?

She let her eyes wander away from Draco, easily spotting Luna Lovegood in the crowd. Their eyes met, and Luna brightly waved, smiling bigger than ever.

Hermione swore her happiness was contagious.

She waved back, smiling at the dreamy looking girl. Luna's outfit was interesting as ever, though she managed to make it look slightly less humiliating than Hermione would.

First years were put into houses, and then the feast began. She curled her lip up at Ron, who just shrugged and mumbled, "What?", through a mouthful of food.

She just shook her head and smiled, and Harry coughed to cover up a laugh.

The feast ended sooner than usual, and Hermione was the first to stand up at her table.

"What do you have first?" She looked at Harry, who just shrugged and handed her his schedule. Looking over it, Hermione realized she was taking four more classes than Harry.

"Hmm...we both have Charms second, and Muggle History third. Transfigurations fourth, Care of Magical Creatures sixth, and Divination last."

She then took Ron's schedule out of his hand, comparing it with her own.

"We have...all of the same classes as Harry and I." She looked between them, raising as eyebrow. Their schedules were exactly the same, which made her wonder if they'd done it on purpose.

Harry shrugged. "Well, c'mon Ron, let's go to Astronomy!"

She rolled her eyes, the corner of her lips pulling up in an amused smile as they ran. Looking at her own schedule again, she sighed and headed towards the dungeon for Potions.

She hoped this class was with Ravenclaws or even Hufflepuffs, as then she'd know people she _didn__'__t _despise.

Draco was running late. He didn't bother to wait on his friends, only running to the staircase and taking the stairs two at a time.

At least he had his favorite class first, he wouldn't get points taken off for being late.

When he walked into the classroom, all of the seats were full except for one next to Neville Longbottom, and one beside Hermione Granger.

He sighed and plopped his stuff down next to Granger.

He was late, yet Snape hadn't taken any points off of Slytherin, even though he locked eyes with Draco when he walked in.

"Welcome back." Snape's voice was monotone, "Open your books to page 394."

He pulled a textbook out of his bag, opening it up to a familiar potion. Was this review? Maybe he'd just spent too much time at his godfathers house.

Snape then briefly explained the 'Dreamless Sleep' potion. Draco could swear he was looking right at him.

"Does anyone know why we mix the crushed beetles with the moonstone before adding it to the potion?"

Hermione's hand shot straight up, and Draco rolled his eyes.

"No one?" Snape seemed to be ignoring her hand, looking around the classroom.

Hermione waved her hand, "Professor!"

Neville was muttering something to Seamus in front of him, causing Snape to bark, "Longbottom! How about you? Do you know?"

Neville's entire face turned red, making Draco snicker. Hermione sent him a look, still waving her hand around.

"I-I uhm..I think Hermione k-knows." Neville stuttered, and Snape sent him and Granger a sharp look.

"What is it, _Miss __Granger__?"_ Snape's voice was cold, but Hermione recieted off the top of her head what sounded like a chapter from a textbook.

"Where'd you get that?" Draco muttered, flipping around.

"Five points from Griffindor, for being such a know-it-all," The Professor muttered, and Hermione's jaw gaped.

"But I was right!"

"I don't care." He sneered, and Draco snickered again. Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. Snape assigned them a two page essay on the reason for mixing crushed beetles with moonstone before brewing the potion, causing several students to groan.

"And Miss Granger...I want an essay. Not a miniature novel, not a textbook. An _essay__."_


	2. Chapter 2

_(Listen to: Come Away To The Water, by Maroon 5 feat. Rozzi Crane )_

The next classes of the day flew by for Hermione, but dragged on slower than a snails pace for Draco.

He felt himself thoroughly consumed with thoughts of the upcoming Christmas break. He'd have to go home to his father and the house full of...them. Of course, if anyone asked he'd put on an arrogant sneer and brag about going back to the mansion. He dreaded it inside.

When the last class of the day came, the festive chatter of students filled the halls. Ghosts swarmed overhead, sliding easily through the Christmas decorations.

Draco met up with Blaise Zabini in the hallway, inside jokes and conversations passing back and forth between them. His best friend was the only one who knew he didn't exactly enjoy being a follower of the Dark Lord, though even he didn't know the entire story.

Names of students slipped into their conversation as they stepped up to the dormitory, including bitchy Padma, Pansy Parkinson, and the ever-so-familiar Chosen One.

Blaise politely muttered the password for the dorm, and when it didn't open, he snapped, "Fucking Basilisk Tongue!"

The portrait frowned and snarkily said for him to watch his tone, making Draco snort. Blaise shoved him lightly, though he was grinning.

They stepped inside and Draco opened his bag, flopping down on the furniture and getting ready to start on his homework. Blaise yawned, "I'll just do it in the morning."

"Your mum's going to kill you if you get lower than a A again." On his last potions assignment, Blaise had barely managed a P, which stood for 'Poor'.

"Yeah, but it's just homework."

Draco shrugged, his quill scratching on the parchment. Part of his father's expectations was to be entirely perfect in every way, and the other part was to have the same idea of perfect as he did.

"Your choice, I guess."

It was only a matter of moments before Draco finished, his neat calligraphic cursive scrawl taking up the page. Potions wasn't something he had to work particularly hard on, as he spent so much time with the Professor anyway.

Blaise yawned and petrified a spider on the ceiling, spinning his wand around in his hand loosely.

Looking up at the time, Draco hopped up. "Feast time."

Blaise nodded and slipped his wand up his sleeve, causing Draco to raise an eyebrow. They both made their way down to the feast, where in the halls Malfoy ran into a familiar redhead.

"Watch it, Weasel." He sneered, continuing on his way until Hermione grabbed his sleeve. "Don't speak to him like that, Malfoy."

Her voice was hostile, cold, but he didn't show any expression towards it.

"Oh yeah? Why not, Granger?" A bit of a challenge lay in his voice, and Blaise sighed.  
"I'm going to the feast." He said quite loudly, leaving the scene.

"Because you don't have to be such a git to everyone do you?" She snapped, and the Weasley boy grabbed her shoulder. "Hermione, let's go."

"Not _everyone_." He smirked slightly, looking at the fuming little witch. She glared, and leaned in. "By the way, I know where you go when you can't sleep." Her voice came out as an almost whisper.

Draco narrowed his eyes at Hermione, and she only turned on her heel. He didn't see her glare soften when she leaned in, but did notice the way she smelled like lavender and parchment, and he didn't know why he liked that.

Hermione could see his ice blue eyes every time she closed her brown ones. There was something hauntingly empty, yet so deep about his blue eyes.

She cleared her own thoughts and left with her trio, leaving Malfoy standing there.

He smirked slightly and turned around towards the feast, looking around for Blaise, or at least Crabbe and Goyle. Those two were definite idiots, but practically worshipped him.

He ended up sitting in between Goyle and Padma, across from Blaise. Draco ignored Dumbledore's speech for the most part, as this was his sixth time hearing the annual Christmas speech. Of course, it was slightly different every year, but not too much.

The speech ended with a polite applause, and the feast began. Plates appeared, and Hermione's lip curled as Ron shoved food after food into his mouth. Harry rolled his eyes and laughed, telling him to slow down. Ron protested with a mouthful of food, "I'm hungry!"

Ginny nearly spit out her pumpkin juice, she was laughing so hard, "Ron, no one's going to take your food. Just eat normally."

Thanks goodness she didn't spit it out, Hermione knew she liked Harry and had forever. She only needed him to admit he liked her too, she knew he did.

"This is normal!" He protested again, and even Hermione had to laugh at that one.

"Okay, okay. Whatever you say, Ron." Harry exchanged looks with Ginny, who snickered slightly.

Draco caught Hermione's eye out of the corner of his, and he quickly looked away. She couldn't help but let her gaze linger on him, it seemed like there was something drawing her towards him.

She cleared her throat and made light conversation with Ginny, who enjoyed any and all kinds of gossip. Hermione wasn't much for gossip, but she enjoyed the younger girls enthusiasm.

"Did you hear about Pansy Parkinson's new boyfriend?" Ginny gushed, leading Hermione into a whole new conversation about 'how much of a bitch' Ginny thought she was, and 'what a whore, this is her third boyfriend this week.' She was sure that was an exaggeration, but laughed anyway.

"I'm serious!" Ginny was bursting out laughing, and Hermione felt Harry's gaze on them.

She turned towards Harry and he turned bright red.

Draco stole a quick glance at the group, biting the inside of his lip at how carefree and happy they all looked.

Blaise waved his hand in front of Draco's face, muttering, "Earth to Draco, hello? Earth to Draco."

Draco looked at him and raised a blonde eyebrow. "Yes?"

"You zoned out on us." Blaise gave him a lopsided grin.

"Sorry," Draco mumbled, "I've got a lot on my mind." The others at the table dismissed this statement as nothing, but Blaise's expression changed.

He looked at Draco with a slight more concerned look in his eyes, mouthing the words, "Are you okay?"

Over the summer, Draco had gotten really badly depressed after…people… had been killed by him and his father. He'd seemed to be in a hazy state of mind, answering Blaise's many letters with only 'I've got a lot on my mind.'

Draco looked at him and nodded, mouthing back, "Fine. Don't worry."

The two of them rejoined the conversation after that, rolling their eyes more than once at Crabbe and Goyle's stupidity.

The feast ended, and the four of them headed back into the Slytherin common room. The moon rose, and many students headed to bed. Draco took off his robes and slipped into something more comfortable. This was the last night before Christmas break, and he was going to try to actually get some sleep.

"_Draco." _

"_Bella? What are you doing here?" _

"_Here to see you, of course." _

"_That's a lie." _

_A sharp pain spread through his chest, and he felt like he was on fire. A scream escaped his lips and she laughed. _

"_Stop!" A clear voice rang out from a while away, and he saw a familiar brunette standing beside his dark haired best friend. They both ran over to him, helping him up as Bellatrix stood in fury. _

"_Mudblood. Zabini." She gritted her teeth, "Crucio!" Blaise fell to the ground, writhing and shrieking in pain. He wasn't as used to it as Draco. Draco started to speak up, but no words would escape his lips. _

_Blaise let out a soft whimper, screaming again. Bella finally got bored with him and muttered, "Avada Kedavra." _

_Draco tried to move, but his body stayed put. "Your fault." Bellatrix shrugged, pointing to the unmoving Zabini. "Could've saved him." _

"_Crucio." She said quietly, a bloodcurdling scream escaping the pale lips of the women in front of him. Draco again tried to hollar for her to stop, but nothing came out. Bella giggled, flicking her wand to strengthen the curse. The tears were running down the muggleborns cheeks, her shrieks burning into his mind and ringing in his ears. _

_It seemed to be an agonizingly long while before Bella rolled her eyes and muttered "Avada Kedavra." _

_He flinched, but couldn't move his legs to run. Bellatrix pulled the pocketknife out of her jacket and bent down. He closed his eyes, and opened them again when she laughed. Bella had carved the words, 'your fault', into both of their arms. He closed his eyes tightly and- _

Draco woke up sweating, his heart racing, his hands shaking. So much for actually getting some sleep. He gave a quick glance to Blaise's bed, relaxing slightly when he told himself he was being ridiculous, of course he was still there.

He stood and took a deep shaky breath, not even bothering to slip on a pair of shoes before heading out into the hallway.

He knew his way around by now, having been this way so many times, even in the dark. The tile of the dungeon was cold on his bare feet, but he didn't mind.

He could've sworn he saw Bella around the corner, and only shook his head, sighing and mumbling, "I'm going mad."

Someone's light footsteps padded along the corridor behind him, and he picked up his pace, making it to his place to think.

The Room of Requirement. No one could find him here. He didn't think so, anyway.

But someone was standing behind him now, as he paced the room, running his hands through his hair, lost in his own thoughts.

His dreams had gotten more vivid since this summer.

"I told you I knew where you came to think." A quiet voice came from behind him, one that he knew well. He turned slowly, not wanting to speak to anyone now, though seeing her had clamed his nerves slightly.

"Granger. How'd you get in here?" He said softly, sitting down on the chilly floor.

She shrugged, sitting beside him. "I guess we came here for the same reason."

Her company wasn't something he normally enjoyed or even tolerated, but he was so absorbed in thought he didn't mind it right now.

"So why do you need to think?" She interrupted his thoughts, and he looked at her for a moment. "It's none of your business."

"Oh." She shrugged lightly, and he looked a bit surprised she wasn't questioning him more. "I mean, I guess it isn't. I don't really know why I came here." She knew she'd come to find him. "Couldn't sleep, but I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the stress of exams coming up soon? I'm not too s-"

He interrupted her, "Granger?"

She looked at him. "What?"

"Could you shut up for just one minute?"

"Sorry." Looking closer, she noticed the shaken up, hollow look in his eyes.

"Malf-_Draco._ What's going on? I'm serious." The hostility in her voice had almost entirely disappeared.

"Nothing is going on. Why would I tell you anyway?" He muttered, looking away, knowing his eyes gave his cover away.

"Because you can't keep everything bottled up inside of you." She always seemed to have an answer for him, something that had always aggravated him.

"It's worked so far for me." He replied coolly, and she rolled her eyes. "No it hasn't. You know it hasn't."

"I know." He muttered.

"Then why don't you just tell me?" She looked up at him.

"No." He replied quietly, "I don't allow anyone to get that close to me." She gave a soft little sigh, refusing to call this feeling sympathy. "Why not?" She knew she was getting information out of him.

"Because I don't want to hurt them."

His answer was short, and so quiet she had to strain to hear it. "But what if you won't."

"But I will. I always will. Someone always hurts around me."

Hermione watched him for a moment, replying after a short while. "Why do you say that?"

He looked back at her, simply staring into her eyes for a moment before standing.

"Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything."


	3. Chapter 3

_(Listen To: Everything Has Changed, by Taylor Swift feat. Ed Sheeran)_

Hermione watched him walk away, her jaw gaping. He exited the room quickly, and she heard his footsteps down the tile hall. "Draco!" Her voice was hushed, but still loud enough for him to hear.

When he didn't reply, she cursed under her breath. "Damn it!" _Now_ she was interested, and she'd been so close to getting answers from him. She headed back to her own dormitory, looking out the window and deciding it was near morning from the position of the stars. She _had _paid attention in Astronomy this year, after all.

She tucked herself underneath the covers, and felt- she wasn't going to call it guilt, although it was- when she could fall asleep almost instantly.

In the morning, she woke up to Angelina Johnson's alarm.

Somewhere in the back of her mind it registered that it was the first day of Christmas break.

She'd decided to spend it this year at Hogwarts, for a change. A little glimmer of excitement filled Hermione, as the students lined up with their bags for the train.

She slipped into her robes, and headed down into the common room. The only person besides Harry in the common room was Ginny.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny had all also decided to stay this year. Neville headed with his bags to the door, and Hermione gave him a quick embrace. "Have a happy Christmas!"

"You too, Hermione." He smiled at her, exchanging 'happy Christmas' and 'have a great one' with the others, before stepping out and down the hallway to board the train.

When Ginny left the common room with an excuse of going to see Luna, Hermione stated something about going to the library. In her own little know-it-all way, she was going to fix him. She asked Filch politely for a pass to the restricted section, and he scrawled one out for her.

Her fingers tickled up the spines of a few books. She had no exact idea what she was looking for, but anything would do.

Anything relevant, to her search, anyway.

Something clicked in her mind- he was leaving today. She grabbed a potions textbook from the restricted section and flipped through it as quickly as possible.

Hermione took the book, handing the librarian her pass, and ran quickly out.

She tapped on Professor Snape's office door, tapping her foot impatiently. She needed to get this done quickly.

He opened it, looking at her skeptically. "Miss Granger. What can I do for you?"

She walked inside and placed the book on his desk, opening it up to the exact potion.

"You wouldn't have the ingredients to brew this potion, would you Professor? It's for a….friend…of mine. We read about it in class the other day."

He looked at her for a moment before handing her a pass. "You should ask Madam Pomfrey."

"Oh, alright." She shut the book quickly and tucked it under her arm, running down the hall, shouting behind her, "Thank you Professor!"

In the Slytherin common room, Draco was packing his stuff as quickly as he could. Blaise was watching him, as he was staying for the winter. "You know, you don't have to go." Blaise tilted his head slightly, looking at Draco.

"I really kind of do." He shoved a shirt in his suitcase, giving Blaise a quick glance.

"No you don't. You could tell your Dad you were staying at my house, and we could both stay here."

"He'd find out, and I'd be in worse trouble." Draco shook his head.

"Maybe not." Blaise shrugged, looking for any excuse to lighten his friend's spirits.

Draco was honestly scared to wonder what would happen when he finished Hogwarts next year. Then he'd have no excuse to avoid his father for parts of the year. In the way that things were going now, he'd follow in his father's footsteps for the rest of his life.

He zipped his suitcase shut, and picked it up. "I appreciate the offer, Blaise, really. But it'd never work."

Blaise shrugged again, "Maybe."

He accompanied Draco out of the common room and up the steps. They both headed for the train, though Blaise was just there to see him off.

He stood in the line of students, just as a girls voice shrieked his last name. "Malfoy!"

Hermione Granger came running towards him, causing Blaise to raise an eyebrow.

She seemed oddly out of breath, holding a bottle of something in her hand. "Can I speak to you for a moment?"

He nodded, and followed her off to the side. "What is it?" She gave a self-satisfied smile, holding the bottle up. "A Dreamless Sleep potion. It's for you."

He took it with an only slightly surprised look in his eyes. "You shouldn't have." "But I did!" She grinned, and he couldn't help but almost smile back. He slipped the bottle into his bag. "I'll try that."

She nodded. "Good. Have a good Christmas." "Yeah," He watched her as she turned away, "You too."

He stepped back over to Blaise, who looked slightly confused on what just happened. "What did Granger want?"

Draco looked at him. "I'm…not exactly sure." Blaise raised an eyebrow at him, but laughed slightly.

"Alright. Owl me when you get home?"

Draco nodded. "Of course. Happy Christmas." Blaise nodded also, "Happy Christmas."

Draco boarded the train, and took a compartment with Crabbe and Goyle. They made small talk, mostly useless conversations on the way back to London.

Hermione watched the train leave and then headed back to her own common room, meeting up with Harry and Ron again.

"Hey, where were you? I went to look in the library for you, and you weren't there." Ron looked at her and Hermione bit the inside of her lip and thought of an excuse.

"I had to ask Professor Snape about this book." She held up the thick potions book in her hand and Ron looked at it as if it would bite him.

"Bloody hell, what is that? A dictionary?"

Harry snorted, and Hermione thumped Ron lightly on the temple. "No, silly. It's a potions book."

"We're on Christmas break! Why the hell do you need a potions book?" He sounded a bit appalled, though he should be used to this by now.

"Extra studies." She said simply, almost skipping back to the common room.  
Ron stared after her, one ginger eyebrow raised. "Something's up with her."

Draco was bored as hell.

Crabbe and Goyle were debating on the motions for a spell, and he'd given up trying to argue that both of them were completely wrong.

He absorbed himself in his whirlwind of thoughts, distracting himself with the subject of Miss Granger.

Since when had she decided to be anything less than hostile towards him?

It must've been something he said the other night. What did he say the other night again?

Shit.

He should really learn to stop thinking so much.

It was impossible though, wasn't it? To stop thinking so much?

He didn't have anyone to ask, not anyone that wouldn't simply laugh or sneer.

Merlin, he was doing it again. What was wrong with him?

The train came to a slow, screechy halt, and he grabbed his bags, though dread filled his heart. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready at all.

His heart was beating faster as he stepped slowly off of the train after Goyle, spotting his father easily in the crowd.

He swallowed as he made his way towards his parents, and that familiar half smirk came over his father's lips.

"Draco, let's go."

His voice was cold, and burned into Draco's memory. He didn't wince, didn't flinch at all, as he'd learned to control his instincts.

All he did was follow the man with a nod, his mind blank.


End file.
